The season ends as it began with 3-0 defeat to a team shorn of players and confidence, but still far too good for a ragged West Ham.
In the week, the fragrant Karren Brady wrote how she hoped Birmingham would stay up, given her past association with club, and also Wigan, as owner Dave Whelan is such a gentleman. Where to begin with calibrating how out-of-touch with the feelings of West Ham fans that shows her to be? As if the Olympic Stadium were not demonstration enough. Well, Birmingham. A horrible side whose fans have a track record of violence towards West Ham which extends to targeting young kids wearing shirts. Like we care what happens to them. Then Dave Whelan, sweat-shop owning price-fixer, who tried to sue us over playing Carlos Tevez and expressed his hopes that we would be relegated. But I suppose if you make your career selling advertising for Pornographers, and its height is reached with your head firmly between Lord Sugar's buttocks, your idea of a gentleman is likely to be distorted.
So I'm really pleased that she's the lynchpin in the search for the new manager who will lead us from the barren deserts of the Championship to the Promised Land of the Premiership. One newspaper report this week suggested Carlo Ancelotti likes London so much he'd give us a shot. From Champions League to Championship - yeah, right. And given how well the last two managers with Chelsea associations turned out, would our business plan be 'third time lucky'? But it's all fish and chip paper.
Today we played 'spot who won't be here next season'. Some of those seem already to be not here this season. No Carlton Cole nor Demba Ba nor Robbie Keane even on the bench. I guess the latter has returned to Spurs 'Get Rid' file and the first two are in our 'For Sale' prospectus. Matthew Upson's injury also prevented him from playing (as something has almost all the season) and he's out of contract. Rob Green gave a very long goodbye salute to the fans who have supported him against all the 'You Let Your Country Down' moronic chants, and he has rarely let us down and will find a better club. Danny Gabbidon is out of contract and another likely to leave, along with Wayne Bridge's £90k a week wages for his loan. Hitzlsperger gave us less than half a season for a full season's wages and now will presumably be off. Obinna (touted as a future West Ham legend by Pornographer No. 2) will also go back to his parent club in Milan from whence he is a serial loanee. Kovac will have to find another comfortable bench as his contract ends. Zavon Hines (who has been complaining about not playing enough and today showed why that has been) is another out of contract and presumably off. And of course, Super Scott will have competition to sign him and can go with all my very best wishes for his efforts in this and previous seasons. I hope he goes somewhere where he wins something as he deserves it. A great player and, apparently, a thoroughly nice man. After all, unlike Bellamy, he wasn't interested in taking the Man City millions midway through last season, and turned down Spurs overtures twice.
The Controller has decreed that the season ticket shall be purchased for a further season (although the decree does not extend to son Jack. Apparently a college course disbars him from attending - he's got a note from his mum to say so). Joe and Jess are both in it for the long haul, and Connor needs his character building further if he is to grow into the cynical, embittered Irons supporter that is his birthright.
So now, I'll dust off my Barcelona chants for the benefit of the telly next weekend, and contemplate a season of Championship football. What joy.
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