K is for Karren Brady. Vice-chairman and moving force behind the Olympic Park move (even going so far as to float the idea we could be renamed West Ham Olympic to demonstrate her cutting edge marketing nous and total lack of any grasp of West Ham's fanbase). Of course, she has another job on The Apprentice. Either her experiences with The Pornographers are insufficient, or she has a penchant for sucking up to loud-mouthed wide boys. She should be fired (preferably from a cannon).
L is for Losing. What we've become good at, especially away from home, despite the tremendous support which is always thanked by whomever is temporarily in charge. Now, of course, relegation will mean losing all that multi-millions in Sky money. It might also mean losing some of the over-priced and underperforming mercenaires from the team (£90k a week for Wayne Bridge - not even the Golden Gate Bridge and the Brooklyn Bridge together is worth that).
M is for Manchester United. Not because they've won the Premiership for the 19th time and will, I hope, lose comprehensively to Barcelona. They've encapsulated our season. One of the few (only?) highs of the season was the Carling Cup game when two-goal Jonathon Spencer contributed to our 4-0 win never having scored before. In our league game, we went 2 goals up and Vidic should have been sent off. Then who knows? In the event we capitulated and lost 2-4, a good mini-revival ended and we were done. But we still won the season 6-5 on aggregate.
N is for Newcastle. Away, when they were in disarray following the sacking of Chris Hughton, the appointment of Pardew and the sale of Andy Carroll. Still West Ham away? That'll do nicely for a 5-0 stroll.
O is for Orient. The mystic east and, please god, derailers of West Ham's journey to the Olympic Park. Never thought Barry Hearn was much of a saviour but who knows?
Showing posts with label A-Z of West Ham season. Show all posts
Showing posts with label A-Z of West Ham season. Show all posts
Saturday, 14 May 2011
Saturday, 7 May 2011
The Nightmare is almost over: Review of the season Part One: A-E
A is for Avram the Arsehole. Appointed by The Pornographers last summer with a brief to improve on a campaign that produced the lowest points total for a team not to be relegated and consolidate West Ham's premiership position, he's clearly failed. Unless, that is, somehow a team that's lost five consecutive games at the business end of the season suddenly wins at least two out of three. Then he might just be Avram the Awesome.
B is for Blog. This one was for me and my kids to celebrate following West Ham this season, and was instigated by The Controller. As a professional writer, she seems to be keen to encourage others to write (up to a point - not as competition in her field). There's not been much to celebrate and the multi-authorship hasn't really worked (one post each from Jess, Joe and Jack, come on guys, that's trying as much as the team), but in a perverse way, I've enjoyed it.
C is for Championship. Which is where we've been headed ever since the shambolic capitulation at Villa in the first game of the season. Remember, O'Neill walked out a few days before, they had an injury crisis and rookie manager. We had bigged-up new players Reid (played in the World Cup) and Barrera (played in the World Cup). They had a youth team midfield and one of their best players, Milner, about to defect to Citeh. We were a shambles with no fight, so we've been consistent all season.
D is for DiCanio. He's been cheerleading at Upton Park on several occasions this season and making appearances in the programme. In interviews he talks of his love for West Ham (second only to Mussolini?). But, really, I think he'd be best out on the pitch even now. At least he never gave up.
E is for Exit, the sense of coming to an end. Avram will go, unlamented, at the end of the season whatever happens. But will I go, too? My son Joel commented at the last home game that it was blindingly obvious that I didn't want to be there, because it was so obviously going to be misery. But when there's a game I'm not at, I try to see a live stream, or watch on the telly, or get phone updates. It's clearly a drug, but not Ecstasy.
B is for Blog. This one was for me and my kids to celebrate following West Ham this season, and was instigated by The Controller. As a professional writer, she seems to be keen to encourage others to write (up to a point - not as competition in her field). There's not been much to celebrate and the multi-authorship hasn't really worked (one post each from Jess, Joe and Jack, come on guys, that's trying as much as the team), but in a perverse way, I've enjoyed it.
C is for Championship. Which is where we've been headed ever since the shambolic capitulation at Villa in the first game of the season. Remember, O'Neill walked out a few days before, they had an injury crisis and rookie manager. We had bigged-up new players Reid (played in the World Cup) and Barrera (played in the World Cup). They had a youth team midfield and one of their best players, Milner, about to defect to Citeh. We were a shambles with no fight, so we've been consistent all season.
D is for DiCanio. He's been cheerleading at Upton Park on several occasions this season and making appearances in the programme. In interviews he talks of his love for West Ham (second only to Mussolini?). But, really, I think he'd be best out on the pitch even now. At least he never gave up.
E is for Exit, the sense of coming to an end. Avram will go, unlamented, at the end of the season whatever happens. But will I go, too? My son Joel commented at the last home game that it was blindingly obvious that I didn't want to be there, because it was so obviously going to be misery. But when there's a game I'm not at, I try to see a live stream, or watch on the telly, or get phone updates. It's clearly a drug, but not Ecstasy.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)