Elton John, Graham Taylor, John Barnes, Ross Jenkins, Kenny Jackett, - your boys took a hell of a beating:Watford 0 - 4 West Ham; 16 August

It's a little bit funny this West Ham side
Plenty of players who can easily hide

Paid too much money but if they played

We'd be a big team making the grade

If I was a Pornographer, but then again, no
Or a woman who sucks up on a TV show
I know it's not much but it's the best I can do
My gift is my song and this one's for you

And you can tell everybody this is West Ham
It may be quite simple but that's West Ham 

I don't care if you mind
I don't care if you mind the words I put down 

How wonderful life is while you're 4-0 down

I pretend every season I don't give a toss
Well a few of the players well they get me quite cross
But the game's been quite kind while I changed this song
It's for the Irons to keep it turned on

So excuse me forgetting but these things I do
You see I've forgotten when we last won two
Anyway the thing is what I really mean to say
How great it is to win away

And you can tell everybody this is West Ham
It may be quite simple but that's West Ham