Bill Nicholson, Glenn Hoddle, John White, Ossie Ardiles, Ricky Villa, Steve Perryman, Lord Sugar, Gary Lineker, Paul Gascoigne, Gareth Bale, 'Arry Redknapp - your boys took a hell of a beating is what I hoped to be writing but it was not to be.
I watched today in (mostly) a state of calm acceptance. Que sera, sera; zen inscrutability was my principle. I delivered, except when Carlton was through on goal and passed to Gomes in the first half, and in injury time when O'Neill gave the ball back instead of heading for the corner flag. I admit to inner glee when Judas Defoe missed several times from inside the six yard box, but it remained inner-ish.
I managed this because I was watching in Norfolk, which is not unheard of, but not usual. The match was on at lunchtime and I even had lunch at halftime. And completed The Guardian Quick Crossword. With The Controller, who found my behaviour acceptable (also unusual when watching a football match when I care about the result). I also kept calm because the mobile phone signal is awful and I wasn't, therefore, spurred (pun intended) to feverish text exchanges with my sons and daughter who were also watching in London and Brighton. My dogs even behaved strangely. They, too, like The Controller, are unhappy at the vitriol directed (mostly) at errant West Ham players, or (occasionally) the referee (yes, you, Mike Jones aka Wanker), and in passing dirty northern or north London bastards of the opposition. But today Dave the Dog took himself out to lie in the garden in the sunshine on his own, while Charlie the Dog expressed his concern by sitting by me with two paws raised on my arm and only the occasional approving glance at Super Scott breaking up yet another Spurs attack on the telly.
So calm did I manage to be that The Controller decided that she would watch the last twenty minutes or so in my company. Apart from from an occasional expression of concern over some mild tackle, she was mostly entirely well-behaved, and even managed a not-altogether-convincing claim for a penalty for us when Dawson climbed above Carlton for a header in their box. The referee wasn't listening, though.
So we're now out of the bottom three again, by a single goal scored more than Wolves. Above us there are four teams on a single point more than us and it's all to play for.
I'd like to be able to maintain my state of acceptance for the rest of the season, but the next home game's against Man U, so probably not.
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