Read it and Weep!

The last time I actually posted I was worrying how to explain to my 5 year old son that mummy's team had lost while Daddy's team were continuing to prove that even when they play badly they still win. It is a conundrum I have found myself trapped in for most of the season so far.

Strategies have had to be developed to ensure that he - along with the rest of us - suffers the embarassment of being a West Ham supporter. These mainly involve taking him to matches. His first was the dreadful display against Blackpool where after 10 minutes he turned to me and said 'Mummy, aren't they supposed to try and kick the ball into the goal? They don't know how to do that do they?' from the mouths of babes as the saying goes! All this before asking for the Nintendo DS with which to alleviate his boredom - oh for the days when this could be achieved so easily. I also managed to shield him form the abject dispaly that we produced against Liverpool - there are some bonuses to not subsrcibing to ESPN as I can pretend this never happened.

Another good bribe continues to be the half time hotdog, athough in order to get him to come to the Wigan match this had to be moved forward to a pre match hotdog. This time he lasted 65 minutes before asking for the DS - now there's progress. Another added bonus was the point at which he turned round at half time after being told that Daddy's team (The Red Manc Scum) were winning 3-0 and announced that this was ok because 'our' team was winning as well. A defining moment in a young football supporters life - or at least in the lives of those of us who have been fighting to ensure that he is not swayed by the glitz and glamour of the Mancs and their success but enters into the traditional life of suffering experienced by a West Ham fan.

All these strategies were however recently derailed when he was promised at school that West Ham players were coming in to do wome work with them only for this never to materialise - cue much disillusionment with the Happy Hammers. Funny that this occurred just when the Kids for a Quid tickets for Wigan went on sale. I wonder exactly how many schools werer told the exact same thing - good PR stunt that well done Porn barons!

While my struggle to inflict the life of a West Ham fan upon him could be classified as a mild form of abuse, and while the long term effects concern me greatly (viv a vis earlier posts re West Ham's ability to colour your entire outlook on life), today I am no longer worried about this.

At the point this morning (about 6am) when I came downstairs to be told ' Mummy, Daddy's team lost last night but our team won 4-0' I knew that I was winning the battle. Maybe he will turn out to be a fairweather fan - like his fathers' workmates who, despite living close to the ground and claiming to be die hard West Ham fans, failed to make it to the match last night preferring instead to stay in the warm and watch instead of using the tickets they had paid for. Or maybe, just maybe we've arrived at that point when he becomes a real fan (rather than a Real fan which are the other team he claims to support, along with Barcelona - he loves a conflict my son!).

And to be quite honest, I don't care what Fergie, or my other half, says about the Mancs being made up of a team of inexperienced youngsters last night. Though the last time I heard anyone describing Giggs as a youngster was a while ago, plus I'm fairly certain that Fletcher, Anderson, O'Shea, Brown, Chicarito ( I whole heartedly agree with the chicken run supporter last night who politely exhorted him to 'get a proper name') have all played fairly regularly for them so far this season. While I know, courtesy of The Guardian, that Johnny Evans has played more than 50 games in defence fro them. And anyway, it's not as if that was our first team on the pitch - although maybe it should be.

And we still managed to beat the Mancs 4 - 0, their biggest defeat since 2001. Maybe things are on the up.

Since our win over Spurs this season I have taken great pleasure in pointing out to all their fans who tell me how rubbish my team is that, while I agree, we still beat them. That courtesy will now of course be extended to all Manc fans.

4 - 0, read it and weep!