One of the joys of Shakespeare is that he can supply a quote for every occasion. The apocryphal American lady who responded to seeing 'Hamlet' for the first time by saying it was full of quotes was right, but in the wrong order.
Nobody felt any great sense of anticipation going to the match yesterday. The usual level of vitriol reserved for Fat Frank wasn't required as he wasn't playing. Not that he was being saved by his manager from the terrible abuse he would receive. It was the hernia wot did it. And he always relishes the abuse, using it to spur him on to score against us.
But our lamentable start to the season, combined with Chelsea's early goal-scoring sprees, meant the talk was on whether we would be able to keep the score respectable. In our favour was, well, not a lot really, except that Chelsea have a European game coming up in midweek and they would presumably want to conserve their energy for that. And we, of course, have a whole host of new signings eager to show just what we haven't spent any money on in the transfer window, more for the Foreign Legion who, according to co-owner and erstwhile pornographer David Sullivan, don't give their all for the cause.
In the event, Jacobsen, a free transfer from Blackburn' s reserves, Ben Haim, a loan from relegated Portsmouth, and Obinna, loaned from Inter. Now, according to Pravda, Jacobsen is Denmark right back ever-present for his country in the World Cup, and Obinna a lively Nigeria international. So lively he was loaned to Malaga last year and now to us.
All of this was academic as we had conceded a goal before 2 minutes. A routine corner, don't mark and there we go. We followed that with Rob Green's slippery hands presenting Matt Upson the chnace to hoof a clearance straight against Kalou and into the net on 17 minutes. After that, Chelsea went from trotting to strolling and allowed us to look ok because they had the game won.
It's interesting to study our team in that situation. Scott Parker never stopped trying and nor did Mark Noble, but his passing was wayward. Behrami was full of shrugs and grumbles that seemed to give credence to the view that he'd rather not be here. Mind you, there were plenty in the crowd who felt the same way.
Obinna is another non-scoring forward who made Marlon Harewood look accurate and the substitute Piquionne could give Mike Small a run for his money when it comes to missing sitters. I mention Marlon and Mike because West Ham is a club with traditions, and one in particular is that we apparently buy (and play) forwards on the basis of their lack of skill with a banjo when placed near a cow's arse.
So why Carlton Cole gets such stick is beyond me. A non-scoring centre-forward? Check. But at least he keeps going. As will I, no doubt, but more in expectation (of defeat) than hope.
The rest is silence.
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